


Sorry, couldn't hear you!

by blue_bird_9000



Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Deaf TommyInnit, Family Dynamics, Gen, Hard of Hearing Tommyinnit, Mentions of Hearing Loss, Toby Smith | Tubbo & TommyInnit Friendship, TommyInnit Angst (Video Blogging RPF)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-08
Updated: 2021-01-14
Packaged: 2021-03-10 03:49:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 13,625
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27907750
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blue_bird_9000/pseuds/blue_bird_9000
Summary: It started off as a joke.A simple joke that goes too far, that pushes past the limits of being safe or dangerous. Tommy knows that nobody meant any harm, that had they realized what would have happened, they never would have done what they did.Tommy is 4 when he goes partially deaf.
Relationships: Dave | Technoblade & TommyInnit, Dave | Technoblade & Wilbur Soot & TommyInnit & Phil Watson, Toby Smith | Tubbo & TommyInnit, TommyInnit & Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Wilbur Soot & TommyInnit
Comments: 138
Kudos: 1514





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [piteouspeculiarity](https://archiveofourown.org/users/piteouspeculiarity/gifts).



> My first fic on the website, can't wait to make more! :D
> 
> This is for piteouspeculiarity, who inspired me to write after reading their works and amazing writing. Seriously, you guys need to check them out, they are absolutely incredible!!!
> 
> Warnings for: loss of hearing, injuries, and mentions of minor bullying.
> 
> **Comments are welcome and appreciated! :)

It started off as a joke.

A simple joke that goes too far, that pushes past the limits of being safe or dangerous. Tommy knows that nobody meant any harm, that had they realized what would have happened, they never would have done what they did.

Tommy is 4 when he goes partially deaf.

The day starts off as any other normal day. Tommy has a tooth missing in the front of his teeth, his clothes are dirty and he is smiling so bright and happy. He is in a playground, his parents far off on their phones and talking about business. His friends are right next to him, smiling just as eagerly and happy.

They are playing pirates. 

Two groups of three are against each other, and they have to steal a coin from the other side in order to win. The loud and chaotic loving boys have played this game for over a few months now, Tommy being the one to suggest it after too many games of Hide and Seek. A long stick is given to each boy, where they parry and strike against each other with laughter. There is one who hides the coin whilst the other two defend the ship, the other side of the playground, while the other team does the same. 

Tommy is on the red team, with his friends Samuel and Benny. They suggest he hides the coin this time, since he always defends and attacks. He is still innocent and eager to please, so he accepts without hesitation.

Oblivious of the plotting amongst his friends.

He is unaware of the air horns they carry in their bags, ready to ambush him in surprise. Maybe if he were any more observant, any more suspicious, he would still have his hearing.

But he doesn't. 

Instead, he smiles in giddiness and holds the coin in his left hand and his stick, _his sword_ , in the other hand. The count down ends, and everything goes loose. 

Tommy is sprinting down the stairs, hearing his friends screaming and clashing with sticks. In attempts to stay hidden, he crouches underneath the shadows of the small structured building. 

He is unaware of the declining yelling, the halting of sticks being swayed, unaware of the other kids smiling in delight as they grab an instrument out of their bags. The small kids creep behind him, so quiet-

That he does not hear them raise an air horn up to his ears.

Tommy is 4 years old and crouching to hide his coin when his ear drums shatter.

The noise penetrates him and makes him scream in utter agony, his hands immediately clamping his ears shut as he stumbles away from the sound.

Tears were sprung out of his eyes, his body trembling and weak. He doesn't hear his friends laughing in the background, nor does he hear his own choked sobs as he squeezes his eyes tight.

Tommy doesn't hear anything.

He still remembers the moment his friends started to realize he wasn't laughing with them. He remembers feeling hands pat his back, hands touching his hair in forms of comfort. The small kids panic in the realization that Tommy's ears were _bleeding_ , that his body won't stop shaking.

Some kids run to get an adult, the rest stay in an attempt to help him out and see what's wrong. They ask and prod, but Tommy doesn't say anything. 

How can he speak to something he couldn't hear?

He remembers his parents picking him up off the dirty playground floor. He remembers his mom crying and trying to speak to him, giving him words of comfort and love. 

Tommy can only hear the ringing of his ears, his face full of tears and pain.

His dad is the one that drives the car, silent but full of so much worry. Tommy doesn't remember a time where his dad looked so scared, always the calm and rational one of the family.

What Tommy doesn't remember is the visit to the hospital.

He doesn't remember anything else except going home that night with medication and a note. His parents, looking distraught, sit him down in the living room before writing down on a piece of paper that their son would probably never hear again. 

Something in Tommy burns out, his eyes dull and his voice non-existent. It's with a heavy heart that Tommy silently nods to his parents, reservation clinging into his small body. When Tommy goes up to his room, he doesn't hear his parents cry and yell. He doesn't hear their devastation and failure to protect their only child. 

Tommy is 4 when he goes to bed for the first time without hearing anything.

* * *

His mother is the one that tells him that they were going to learn sign language. 

It had been weeks after the incident, and after all the coddling and mother-henning his parents produced, they decided to start taking initiative. His doctor had filed for hearing aids, something that could potentially work for Tommy. 

They found out after a couple of weeks that his ears weren't severely damaged, as he could still hear the very faint screaming of an infant right next to him in the waiting room. It was after many trial and errors that he was able to get his hearing aids fitted and ready to be shipped within the next month.

Tommy still reminisces of the wait for his hearing aids, his mother and father using newly bought eraser boards for him. They were always a loud family, his mother being a very blunt and happy woman with his father who, though reserved, could always find a way to ramble loudly and delightedly to those he cares about.

After losing his hearing, Tommy is glad that they became even more loud for him, continued to scream in an almost vulturous way despite the many noise complaints given over the years. He was glad that they never pressured him to speak after the incident, adapting to his needs and giving him time.

Tommy was glad that his family never stopped loving him.

During the past few months, before his hearing aids had ever been delivered, Tommy attended classes with his parents on Sign Language. The room full of other kids like him, some that couldn't hear at all and others who could only hear from one ear.

  
He didn’t speak out loud during the time, not wanting to speak to something he wouldn’t hear in the first place.

Tommy remembered getting asked on how he became deaf by another classmate. It was a circle time discussion, after learning the alphabet and numbers for a few weeks. The teacher began giving them phrases to work on, things that seemed easy to answer. Most of his classmates were born with a disease that made them deaf, or were born deaf.

  
Except him.

He remembers having to answer the question of another classmate, her brown eyes wide and head tilted in curiosity. He remembers the feeling of a lump in his throat and something heavy weighing onto his stomach, something constricting on his chest as he tried to sign. It was after a long couple of minutes waiting for a response that his classmate walked away in boredom, unaware of the sickening turmoil in Tommy's mind.

Tommy goes home even more quiet that day, surprising his parents for only a few seconds before they give him space. They make his favorite dinner and play his favorite movie, Up. 

When the movie finishes, he goes up to his room and prepares for bed. 

He doesn’t sleep well after the question, the memories of the other boys, _his friends_ , knowingly hurting him kept him up at night. After a moment of clarity, Tommy makes himself a promise.

He decides that he won't let himself ever be pushed over, to be hurt without fighting back. He decides that he won't ever hurt someone like his friends did to him, that he would make people feel happy and free like he used to instead of the dark pit of anger that resonates in his gut. 

It's that night that Tommy decides that nothing will stop him from doing the right thing, to _speaking up._

Tommy sleeps that night a little more peaceful. When he wakes up, he mentally prepares himself for the way he knows he will sound. He knows his parents won't make fun of the way he speaks, but a small part of him feels the fear.

It's with a touch to his ears that he feels refound courage and walks up to his parents room. His parents, speaking normally, stop as he stares at them. Before they can reach for a board to give him, Tommy takes a deep breath, and speaks his first words after the incident.

**"Allow, wut' iz fur brakfst?"**

* * *

His parents allow him to go to a public school after the age of 7.

It’s after months and months of loud and screaming-type begging that they reluctantly agree to his proposal. He is hard of hearing, and he wants to meet new kids that will verbally speak back to him. 

  
Most of the kids in the institution are silent, expressing themselves through facial expressions and body language. It’s something that 5 year old Tommy begins to master, learning the skill and using it despite his ability to speak.

Tommy doesn’t care that they don’t speak back to him verbally, but he feels _lonely_.

It’s the noise that always accompanies him in England with loud cars and people speaking out loud while he walks to school. It’s the noise of his home where his mother will screech rock and roll lyrics at any given chance while his father screams back in sync. It’s the noise of his hearing dog, Betty, when she barks and paws him on an incoming call from his family.

It’s a change that Tommy was ready to embrace, despite the prospect of being scrutinized by those who weren’t educated. 

But Tommy wants to listen, he wants to listen to _everything_ and _anyone_ who will give him a chance.

So his parents let him go with a condition. That he would tell them if someone bothered him or if he felt too overwhelmed. That he never needed to feel alone, to speak out on the things he felt uncomfortable with. Tommy promises them with a beaming smile, his hands signing so fast and his tongue rapid as he thanks them with so much appreciation. 

Tommy remembered his first day of school as a 7 year old.

It was eventful and chaotic, just as Tommy expected it to be.

His hearing aids attract the other kids, none that understand that his hearing aids weren't a newly fashioned typed earbud. Tommy’s teacher, Mr. Hawthorne, explains that Tommy was a new student, and that he was hard of hearing. His teacher reminds them to treat him with respect, to give him a warm welcome.

Tommy fits in pretty good for the next few hours, students focusing on their work than they do to Tommy. His hearing aids help him hear the teacher in front of him, though he does sit in the front row to avoid missing any information.

He meets another kid, Freddy, who sits next to him and laughs like a hyena. Tommy is shy, but he’s made a promise to himself, and he would be damned before he goes back on it.

  
So when it’s time to talk to a partner about the assignment they were working on, he doesn’t breathe before turning to Freddy with a nervous smile.

To his surprise, Freddy gives a steady thumbs up, dragging his desk to face Tommy.

Tommy remembers laughing and smiling the whole discussion, talking about everything except what they were supposed to. Freddy is funny and smart, talking about the weirdest topics that make Tommy question reality. 

  
It’s after class ends that Freddy gives Tommy his phone number, ready to talk and hang out more. Tommy goes home that day happier than he ever has been since the age of 4.

His parents see it, and their relief echoes in the household in waves.

* * *

When Tommy is 12, he begins to play Minecraft.

Larry, a friend he meets after becoming best buds with Freddy, suggests it to him after learning that he doesn’t play video games. Larry is a prodigy on the internet, his understanding of coding and schematics being amazing for that of a 12 year old.

At first Tommy is apprehensive. Why wouldn’t he be? Most of the games that he has ever tried required the skills of listening. But after watching his friend play for a few hours, Tommy decides to give it a go.

It's a calming game, really, and despite his disability, it's something very easy for him to play without hearing.

His hearing aids had always helped him hear things within his own arm distance, but he knows that if he wants his parents to sleep well, he needs to keep the electronics on mute.

Tommy watches YouTube and finds himself immersed with the content that is put in the internet, something for all to see. His friend, Freddy, posts a few videos that Tommy subtly likes and subscribes to. He watches videos that make him laugh and cry, videos that make him feel emotions that could never be verbally described.

It's after months of playing the game and watching YouTube that he finds out about a content creator by the name of TechnoBlade. It's after binge watching his videos for a few days that Tommy decides TechnoBlade is the coolest guy in the world.

He brings it up to Larry and Freddy, who immediately suggest that Tommy become a content creator himself.

Though something tight squeezes in his heart, he hesitantly agrees. He’s heard of the backlash of creating videos, especially through YouTube. A part of him wonders if content creators that have disabilities ever got famous, if there was even a chance to move past the discrimination and bias those would produce at the sight of him.

But Tommy doesn’t decline. He doesn’t have the heart to ever say no to Freddy, who only gives and supports without ever asking for anything back.

And so Freddy beams and Larry creates a plan, something simple and creative that makes Tommy feel warm.

It’s the start of his career, and Tommy is none the wiser.

* * *

His channel gets attention way too quickly. 

After deciding to create a new channel from ChannelNutPig into Tommyinnit, he starts to advance in a way that even Larry finds surprising.

He plays a game called Hypixel and gains subscribers from screaming into a mic loudly. Tommy studies the algorithm and learns about popular trends. He finds a way to keep the audience’s attention and gain their likes.

Though he doesn’t mean to, he accidentally hides the fact that he is hard of hearing.

It really wasn’t his fault.

After a week into creating videos for his channel, his parents find out what he is doing and immediately suggest that he stop.

Not in a bad way of course!

They merely suggest that he wait until they buy him better equipment, something more sturdy for his setup if he wanted to make videos and create content. His parents are very supportive, almost disgustingly sweet and delighted that their son was finally getting a hobby.

  
His mother buys him a specialized set of headphones, the ones that are customized for hard of hearing people and gaming. 

Tommy cries the day he gets it, thankful again for his mother and her weird third eye.

  
Though, he isn't sure if using the headphones constantly instead of his hearing aids was a good idea.

He doesn't know how, but he accidentally deprives the information of his hard of hearing to everyone.

It’s only after he gets invited into his first ever SMP that he realizes that he’s misinformed something important. A donation pops into his stream, asking about his opinions on disabilities and what his thoughts were on it as a person who didn’t have any.

His mouth opens to speak, but the shock enables him speechless.

The moment ends after he hears Walter and Betty bark outside his door. He takes the time to take off his headphones and check what they are doing. Tommy gently lets his dogs enter, careful to let them in without accidentally tripping over their hyperactive bodies. 

Tommy watches them sit and he waits silently for a few seconds until Betty and Walter bark at him twice, the command that lets him know that his parents are calling him.

He allows them to come onto his stream for a few minutes before letting the viewers know that he is ending, loud and boisterous as he usually is.

He raids another streamer named Tubbo, smiling as he walks downstairs.

Tommy goes to eat dinner with his family, before deciding to keep his hearing aids off and sign instead. 

His parents don’t seem to mind, smiling warmly at him before signing and speaking at the same time. They talk about everything and nothing, his parents facial and body expressions making Tommy feel something warm and good encompass his body. 

He goes to bed that night, and thinks about the choices he has.

He feels bad for leading people on with something that wasn’t true, for not being able to be the real _him_. Tommy had always prided in himself for being a cool and truthful person, never telling a lie despite how much honesty could hurt.

In another world, he might’ve gone through with just making a public statement. As if ripping a band aid off and yelling it loud enough for the world to hear.

But a part of Tommy felt a bit nervous. He felt apprehensive to tell anyone anything. 

Not only did he never make a clarification on his disability, _but he didn’t know how other people would react._

Would anyone harass him for not being able to hear well enough? Would his viewers think he was trying to gain attention through something serious? Why did he never say anything in the first place?

It’s these type of questions that make him feel overwhelmed and confused, something he hadn’t felt until he decided about a year ago that he would never get surgery for his ears.

Tommy is 14 years old when he makes the decision to keep his disability a secret. 

* * *

It’s another day, another thing to laugh about.

Tommy is running home, trying desperately to get on his Discord.

Over the year, he finds himself gaining more and more popularity. Larry, god bless his soul, continued to help him with YouTube and Freddy gave him tips and tricks with Twitch. As he makes progress with the SMP Earth, he meets his first ever group of online friends. Tommy makes himself a crew, the Business Bay, with TimeDeo, Bitzel, Whisp, and LukeOrSomething.

He gains new allies, new enemies. Somewhere along the way, he meets his famous idols and best friend.

Tubbo, a boy he would have never guessed would want to be associated with him, becomes someone close to his heart in such a short amount of time.

No words describe the feeling of safety and comfort he feels whenever they are on a call together. Toby, Tubbo, an absolute legend, is someone that Tommy comes to trust as reliable and _good_. 

It almost makes Tommy feel sick to his stomach, at how much guilt he feels for never being honest with him. It’s after his 15th birthday, after playing another game together, that he comes to the decision on being honest with him.

It’s after he watches a bee in his garden land in front of his arm, so _harmless_ , that he decides to confide with him.

Tommy comes home 5 minutes earlier than he usually did. His body is tired and weary when he enters his room.

A part of him knew that Tubbo, honest but sweet, would never shun him for something that he could not control, for something that would prove to be discriminatory.

Tubbo was kind, he was _good_.

Tommy at least owed him the truth, he owed it to the person that supported him since day one. He owed it to the person that laughed at all his jokes, the one person who somehow understood him better than he did himself.

He lets Betty enter his room, Walter with his parents and ready for any commands his parents might use.

It’s with a steady arm that he types to Tubbo on his Discord, that he asks him for a call.

He’s almost relieved and shaken at the instant reply, Tubbo’s bee emoji shining through the screen.

Tommy decides to keep his hearing aids on, his webcam is turned off when he enters the VC.

He hears his friend, and a grin tugs on his lips involuntarily.

“TOMMY!! What's up? How are you today?” Tubbo asks with so much enthusiasm.

“I’m doing great Big T, what about you?” 

“You have no idea how crazy College was today, some kid ate a piece of cheese from the ground for 5 pounds, it was crazy!”

A laugh crawls out of Tommy’s mouth, his anxious nerves somewhat depleted. “Tubbo, I have something I need to talk to you about. It’s actually pretty important.”

“Okay,” Tubbo says easily, “What did you want to talk about?”

“...Do you think you can,” Tommy takes a shaky breath, “-do you think you can turn on your face cam for a second?”

“Of course.” Tubbo replies immediately, turning on his face cam for Tommy.

His set up is the same as it always is, headphones adorned on his head and his usual tidy background. 

“Why do I need my face cam on?” He asks confused, nothing but genuine curiosity laced in his tone.

“I uh, wanted to talk to you about something that I also have to show you.” Tommy clumsily states, feeling some anxiety shift in his bones.

“Okay, that’s fine! What do you need to show and tell?”

Tommy bites his lips in anticipation before clicking the button on his discord.

It's with that click that Tommy's black screen shows his face, sitting on his chair with Betty by his side.

Tommy feels himself instantly staring at Tubbo, holding his breath for his friend's reaction.

But Tubbo just blinks at Tommy, who blink back in response.

After moments of just blinking, Tubbo's face goes into confusion.

Puzzlement is etched onto his face, and if this weren’t so serious, Tommy would have laughed.

“I don’t think I understand? Tommy?”

“Tubbo, I’m um, I’m deaf.”

Tubbo blinks in absolute shock, staring at Tommy with an almost incredulous expression.

“Wha- How?!? Wait, what?!” Tubbo exclaims, sitting up straighter in his chair.

His friend finally sees his hearing aids, taking into account Tommy’s poor posture and dread looking face. Tubbo knows Tommy is not a liar, he is loud, loyal, kind, and _sometimes_ unbearable, but he is not a liar.

  
Tubbo knows his best friend would never lie about this.

“Okay, wait, let me get this straight, you can’t hear?” Tubbo clarifies, needing to understand more.

“Uh, yes and no? I’m hard of hearing really, but it’s easier to just say deaf,” Tommy explains immediately. “I use hearing aids to listen to the things around me, but if I take them off I can’t really hear anyone.”

Tubbo hums in understanding, holding his chin in deep thought.

“How long were you hard of hearing?” Tubbo asks unexpectedly, causing Tommy to choke on his words slightly.

“Since I was 4? I had an accident that caused me to go partially deaf, so I kinda grew up with it.”

“Oh, okay.” Tubbo looks at Tommy with an emotion he can’t describe. It isn't pity nor anger, more... sorrow?

“I’m glad you trusted me enough to tell me this Tommy,” Tubbo interrupts his thought process, smiling so kindly to him, “You are my best friend, and I’m glad to have you in my life.”

Tears prick at the corner of Tommy’s eyes, feeling a wave of relief and gratitude shoot through his veins.

“Tubbo-”

“Is there anything else I should know to help you out more? I want to know everything about this so I can support you better!” Tubbo grins widely, taking out a piece of paper to take notes.

“OH! Now I can have an excuse to learn another language! Can you teach me BSL?” Tubbo cries out in rapid excitement, ready to learn as many cuss words as he could.

Tommy lets out a loud laugh, his body lax with the comfort of his friend. He doesn’t know why he felt anxious in the first place, this was Tubbo, someone he trusted with his life.

He feels his heart soar at his friends mutual love and affection, his mouth wobbling as he grins at his best friend.

“Sure thing Big T.”

* * *


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
> 
> Thank you so much for the support!!! :D
> 
> I'm really glad that it managed to get so much attention, so much in fact, that SENPAI NOTICED ME GUYS!!!
> 
> Check out piteouspeculiarity at tumblr with : https://piteouspeculiarity.tumblr.com/
> 
> It's been a hectic year, but WE SHALL POG THROUGH THE PAIN LADIES AND GENTLEMAN!!!
> 
> Anyways, back to the chapter you all have been waiting for!!! :)
> 
> Warning: items being stolen, anxiety, and getting lost...?

Surprisingly, teaching Tubbo sign language becomes one of the easiest things Tommy does all year.

Tubbo manages to soak in every word that Tommy gives him like a sponge, almost making him skeptical about Tubbo’s history with BSL.

It’s after Tubbo learns some swear words with him that he just accepts the phenomenon as a typical Tubbo moment.

A part of Tommy refuses to say anything out loud, but he really is glad that Tubbo insisted on learning BSL with him.

There are days where Tommy doesn’t like having his hearing aids or his headphones on. 

Sometimes Tommy will want to keep the pressure off his ears and not feel the weight of something small on his head, something so constricting in his already limited hearing.

Tommy always knew that by becoming a Twitch streamer and Youtuber, he would always be sat by his desk with a computer and pair of headphones for the majority of his life.

He knew that he would have to wear his headphones constantly for maybe 9 hours straight just listening to audio and other people’s voices for content.

But that didn’t mean that it didn’t get uncomfortable.

His headphones were stable enough, but they also feel so _restricting_ on his sensitive ears when used for long periods of time.

And his hearing aids, although useful, have always made Tommy feel like a beacon of abnormality.

The feeling never lasts, especially at home, but whenever it _does_ happen, Tommy likes being able to sign without hesitation.

He likes being able to be _himself_.

Tubbo seems to unconsciously recognize this trait after a few weeks of calling each other with sign.

Tommy is always silently grateful that Tubbo is more observant than he always lets on, relieved that he would never have to voice out the things that made him uncomfortable.

A week passes and they manage to learn the alphabet and numbers in less than a day, moving straight into colors and pronouns.

It’s common knowledge for most of their fans that Tommy and Tubbo set up hours to call each other for just themselves, something that nobody else was privy to.

Their circle of friends are always under the impression that both teens stay up at ungodly hours of the night discussing video titles and different types of ideas for content.

That all they did was hangout and talk like normal kids.

What they don’t know is that they set up a couple hours of their day to just brush up on BSL, to let Tommy communicate in the way that makes him feel the most at home.

Tommy still reflects on the chaotic cackling they had while learning cuss words, how they immediately started using them for FaceTime while studying.

He even remembers the day they get caught by his mother, practically dying of laughter when she begins cussing stuff out with them.

Tommy is in another call with Tubbo, his webcam on and his new Schlatt merch proudly adorned on his chest.

Tubbo is signing while also talking wildly, Tommy nearly sobbing at how funny some of his exaggerated expressions are.

“Tubbo man, you need to stop saying bitch with a dog sign,” Tommy chokes, “You are breaking the fourth wall of British sign language!”

“My third eye knows all Tommy, no fourth wall can contain me! My brain is just SO big.” Tubbo quips with an evil grin.

“Oh lord, don’t bring up your third eye bullshit, it’s not even real!” Tommy cries out while trying not to laugh.

“Don’t mock the third eye Tommy, it’s always watching!” Tubbo exclaims, giggling loudly with Tommy as they sign their conversation.

“I have once killed the _Blood God_ , no mortal third eye can stop me.” Tommy’s voice goes deeper, making Tubbo cackle even louder over his dialogue.

“Oh my gawd, you truly are an unstoppable force.” Tubbo replies in a monotone voice, his flushed and still happy face betraying his words.

“Truly, a miracle among the realm,” Tommy easily agrees, “women just throw themselves at me, such a travesty to bear for my very young and wise life.”

“Yes, yes, such a travesty.” 

They both look at each other again before bursting into fits of giggles.

It’s after talking for another hour, that Tubbo has to leave from the call.

“Oh, mother’s calling for dinner! I’ll call you in the morning for some Minecraft and maybe another lesson!” Tubbo signs rapidly to the facecam, his expressions spot on.

“Okay,” Tommy says and signs easily, “-see you later Tubbo!” Tommy smiles widely, logging off of Discord.

Tubbo goes to eat dinner with his family after the call, vibrating in excitement before he tells his mother what Tommy has taught him earlier in the day.

* * *

Tommy doesn’t know that Tubbo researches ways to help his friend.

He _especially_ doesn’t know that Tubbo asks and looks for anonymous questions on Reddit, learning more about the deaf and hard of hearing community.

What Tommy doesn’t know is that after every lesson he gives, Tubbo records it and spends the next day practicing it for perfection.

Tommy doesn’t know that Tubbo practically forces his mind to memorize everything that he teaches, learning while free at school and sitting in cars.

It’s awkward at first, raising his hands and signing to someone who isn’t signing back. 

But Tubbo does it. 

He knows that he wants to make Tommy feel safe with him, to have him feel as comfortable and secure that he possibly can whenever he is on a call with the other teen.

He wants Tommy to never worry about having a way to communicate with him.

Tubbo knows he’ll do anything for Tommy, his best friend.

Tommy, who is one of the strongest people that Tubbo has the privilege of meeting. 

Tommy, the boy he knows is so _soft_ and so _kind_ to him outside of camera view, who doesn’t hesitate in giving his heart to others without hesitation.

He knows that Tommy assumes that he was a freak of nature.

That he was part of a weird phenomenon mixed with natural memorization skills.

He doesn’t know the truth, and Tubbo is okay with that.

He’s okay with omitting the small detail, with having Tommy ignorant of his less than well sleep schedule.

Tubbo is okay with seeing Tommy’s proud expression after nailing every expression and phrase he gives him.

He is more than okay seeing his friend happy, regardless of how small or large the amount is.

Even if he has to talk to himself on a park bench.

Granted that Tubbo has the privilege of enduring some of the not so nice stares of strangers and almost _rude_ looks, that are way too frequent to be normal in public, he feels a sense of calm.

Anyone who knows him in real life knows that Tubbo isn’t good for scrutinization, his lack of social skills always a bust for real life situations.

After getting so many stares and scoffs, Tubbo is almost tempted to stop signing in public.

But then he thinks of Tommy.

Because at the end of the day, Tubbo looks up to Tommy the most.

Tommy, who was deaf for _years_ and never said a thing.

He thinks about Tommy, probably having experienced what Tubbo is only experiencing now.

Tubbo thinks of Tommy, being judged by strangers on something that he has no way of controlling. 

He silently wonders if this was how Tommy felt at 4 years old, confused and angry at the patronization of those that were ignorant.

A large part of Tubbo knows that this still happens to deaf people on the regular.

That it still happens to _Tommy_.

That people like his Tommy still continue to be discriminated against without a care in the world.

The thought only takes a few seconds for Tubbo to silently seeth in vexation.

It’s after a few curses that Tubbo decidingly grits his teeth and signs even _more_ wildly, practically yelling out his conversation though his hands.

People give him even more weird looks as they pass by, but Tubbo refuses to acknowledge them, listening to Tommy’s voice through his recorded video.

Tommy doesn’t find out about Tubbo’s practice for BSL,

And Tubbo is okay with that.

* * *

Tommy is almost 16 when he makes another group for himself.

He is 15, and proud to be talking normally to the one and only TechnoBlade. 

Well, as normally as he could possibly be without fanboying every 5 minutes.

They meet through his potato war, something Tommy takes pride in contributing to.

A friend introduces him to TechnoBlade, something he is forever grateful for.

He is just as amazing and cool that Tommy imagined him to be, something that only brings him more into his fanboy phase.

Tommy meets him again through SMP Earth.

Where war and battle helps him meet more amazing Youtube creators.

The Antarctic Empire is something to be feared, but Tommy never hesitates on advancing, on creating the chaos and strife most would be wary of introducing.

The Business Bay always held a high regard for his mild terrorism, their love for mayhem uniting them all together.

Though, he supposes, causing chaos with others is probably the best way of bonding.

That’s why Tommy thinks it’s predictable that he links so well with the guys.

They are the Sleepy Bois, and Tommy thinks they have to be the coolest people on the planet.

Philza, a literal Minecraft God, the man who never dies, becomes something akin to a second father figure to Tommy. He is kind, honest, and reliable.

He is someone Tommy quickly realizes as trustful.

After spending hours of Phil's time teaching him how to do certain things in Minecraft that most would never think about, Tommy is at awe in how much patience he has for him.

_How much he continues to give him._

Most would never want to spend any more time with him after they wanted something from him, a fact he learned from both the virtual and real world.

But Phil makes the exception.

The second oldest of the Sleepy Bois Inc is Wilbur Soot, the most talented and charismatic person that Tommy has ever had the privilege of meeting.

He easily becomes one of Tommy’s favorite people to talk to.

Wilbur is compassionate, witty, and probably the funniest guy he has ever met.

Tommy isn’t afraid of admitting out loud that he cares about Wilbur like an older brother, especially with how much he checks up on him and goes out of his way to talk to him.

He knows that Wilbur feels the same, if all his verbal words of saying it were any true.

It's another thing that Tommy is not used to feeling, the idea of someone caring enough to go out of their way to speak to him outside of online personas almost phenomenal.

Maybe if he never lost his hearing, if he was just _normal_ , then he wouldn't have had to feel this way.

Only maybe.

He doesn't say this out loud of course, Tommy unsure of how Wilbur would react to such a statement.

Because he knows that Wilbur worries for him, enough to always voluntarily chaperone his calls with people he has never met.

Tommy knows he's good, _knows that they're all good_ , but he's too scared to ever test out his truth.

The last member of the Sleepy Bois Inc is someone that Tommy would have never guessed to be acquainted with, only ever thought of in his dreams.

TechnoBlade, the Blood God, slayer of orphans and PVP master, becomes someone Tommy can say is his friend.

He is an enigma, someone mysterious in all aspects except verbal.

After managing to win MCC with him, he strikes the golden button on being someone other than the random teenager on SkyBlock.

Ths is made possible with his phone number.

It's after months and months of constant messaging and pure delight at having someone else to talk with, that Tommy begins to notice some of the more reclusive traits from the Blood God.

TechnoBlade is someone that Tommy comes to realise as sweet and endearing, something he would have never realised if he wasn't on call so many times.

Out of the three of them, Tommy knows that TechnoBlade is always immediate to answer and text back no matter the time or day.

His character and elusion of being completely monotone and heartless to the public, is something that he immediately realises as false.

Tommy knows that the three of them are good, something that he thought he would never get to experience again after the trauma he endured as a child.

It almost makes Tommy feel nostalgic, on how much he has grown since he was a small and chubby cheeked kid.

With his partner in crime, friends, and fans, Tommy thinks he'll be on his way to becoming the most happiest man in the whole world.

Of course, until it doesn't.

* * *

Tommy is 16 when he realizes he fucked up.

It isn’t even on purpose, or something that he accidentally does for a bit to rile someone up. 

Tommy is proud of the fact that he knows himself so well, in understanding his own boundaries and knowing when to stop.

He knows how much he can take before exhaustion or a mental breakdown happens, his past therapy sessions teaching him about self control and reliability.

It almost makes him want to scream, in how much he understands social expression.

Even though Tommy hates the idea of it, he knows when to admit defeat and call something quits. 

_Being deaf taught him this at a young age_.

And so it starts off with a Tweet, an absolutely innocent Tweet.

Tommy doesn’t even think twice about it, even calling Tubbo and asking how his day was.

He knows that Wilbur has been suggesting a meetup for a while in Brighton, practically begging Techno to come overseas. 

Of course, it takes more than a few weeks for TechnoBlade to even humor the idea. 

But Wilbur is _relentless_.

TechnoBlade never stood a chance against his insistent pleading and melodramatic acts of displeasure.

When Wilbur asks Phil to visit him, nobody is surprised at the answer.

Tommy knows that Phil wouldn’t mind visiting Wilbur, that he wouldn’t hesitate to visit any of them if given the chance.

  
Wilbur's tweet is a confirmation of his status with TechnoBlade, having begged hard enough to make the anti-social man come out of his home and all the way to England, to _Wilbur_.

It isn't out of the ordinary, but what is, is what happens next.

He knows that their history as a group had become more and more stronger each and every time they spoke to each other online. 

Tommy knows that they care about him enough to answer his texts and calls within minutes after he sends them. 

He knows that Wilbur holds him to a higher standard than most other people, with the way he compliments and praises Tommy outside of videos and sessions.

So it's not a complete surprise that he would want Tommy to be with them, to be just as connected online as they would be in real life.

Tommy doesn’t mean to, but he ends up agreeing to meet up with Wilbur.

He gets on a call with him, something they have taken the habit of doing after Tommy ended school. 

They usually range from talking about their day to their next ideas for content. Sometimes other people would join, Tubbo being the one to most frequent.

The day is a Monday, and he is sitting in his room with headphones on and a bowl of alfredo type spaghetti on his desk.

Their conversation is relatively peaceful, and Wilbur offhandedly asks about Tommy’s plans for the week.

That's when Tommy immediately starts gushing to Wilbur about his meetup with Tubbo on Friday. How excited he is to meet the clingiest person in the world, their plans on visiting the beach and streaming together.

His tone of fondness doesn’t escape Wilbur, who ends up teasing him after his statement.

It’s after laughing and yelling loudly at each other, that Wilbur nonchalantly asks if he was free for the weekend.

“Hey, Toms, are you free this weekend?” Wilbur’s voice echoes in his headset, making Tommy turn to his webcam in slight confusion.

“Uh, no? I shouldn’t be? On Saturday and Sunday my dad was planning on letting me stay at a hotel near Brighton while he attended some business meetings during the day.” Tommy replies easily, stirring his pasta with a fork.

There’s a moment of silence before Wilbur speaks again.

“Okay.” He hums in thought before smiling widely at Tommy. “I know this is really sudden, but I was wondering if you would be up to meeting Phil, Techno, and I during the weekend?” 

Tommy feels himself choke on a noodle in shock, staring at Wilbur in absolute shock.

"We've been planning on showing Techno Brighton, since you live near it and so did Phil! We could keep you company for the days you are staying at the hotel and just walk around, only if you want to of course," Wilbur rambles, Tommy's lack of words causing slight panic in the older man.

“Of course, we would need to ask your parents for permission first, but we’d really enjoy it if you came with us.” He continues on, waving his hands in expression.

“You don’t have to worry about expenses or anything either, Phil and I have been saving up for this meet for a while!”

Tommy, who was utterly speechless at first, doesn’t think before screaming in pure delight.

His headphones fall off when he jumps out of his chair, chanting, “YES! YES! YES!”

He doesn’t hear WIlbur in the background laughing and recording his reaction, endearment clear in his eyes.

It’s only after he looks back at the screen that he realizes what he just agreed to.

Scrambling for his headphones, Wilbur tells Tommy what they plan to do and when. He suggests that he brings it up to his parents first before Wilbur calls them.

Tommy agrees happily, his hands unconsciously signing in excitement under the table.

When Wilbur logs off of Discord with a warm goodbye, Tommy sprints downstairs to his parents, his mind running thousands of miles per minute.

Tommy doesn't realize later, after agreeing to meet up with Wilbur, that he never told him about his disability.

* * *

On Friday morning, Tommy is waiting to meet Tubbo near a bridge. 

It’s way too early to be awake, but Tommy doesn’t care.

The thought of seeing his best friend had overtaken any negative feelings Tommy might felt about waking up early.

His father is in the car behind him, waiting patiently for the arrival of Tubbo and his own father.

It’s after hours of spamming time and dates to each other the month before, that they finally agreed to meet at 8 in the morning, Tubbo immediately insisting that he come early in order to see the beach near his house with good temperature.

His father, unsurprisingly, agrees wholeheartedly. It’s after thinking for a while that Tommy remembers his business meetings probably take up the whole day, leaving scarce time in the evening to drop off his son.

Though Tommy expects it, Tubbo is just as amazing online as he is in real life.

He remembers watching a small car pull up near the street, his phone vibrating with almost a million messages per second.

He remembers taking one look at his friend Tubbo leaving his car, before launching himself at him full speed.

Tubbo makes a loud screech before opening his arms wide, almost falling over from the unexpected attack.

Tommy remembers immediately wrapping his arms over his short friend, feeling similar arms secure themselves on his shoulders as he holds tightly onto his best friend.

A moment of comfort and deep fondness had raced into Tommy’s body, practically enveloping his heart with warmth.

_Tubbo_ , small and wearing his signature green shirt, is laughing loudly into his ears while speaking into his shirt, his voice being muffled by Tommy’s chest, “Oh my goodness, _Tommy_!” 

" _Tubbo_." He says out of breath, squeezing his eyes tight as emotions began flooding heavier into his heart.

“You’re so clingy!” Tubbo laughs wetly onto his chest, ignoring the similar wet stains being put into his shoulders.

“Shut up bitch! Don’t ruin the moment!”

Both their fathers talk in the background, something that Tommy isn't able to listen to while breathing in Tubbo’s comfort.

“I can’t believe you're here, I’ve been dreaming of giving you a hug for so long.” Tubbo admits quietly, clutching into Tommy’s shirt with an iron grip.

Tommy feels himself slightly shake at the words he could relate to.

“I have so many things planned for us, you’re not going to believe it!” Tubbo smiles wide while leaning on Tommy, making the tall blonde laugh shakily in response.

“Okay, let’s do it Big T.”

* * *

"I can't believe you would betray me like this, this is the worst day of my life," Tubbo says with a sway, turning to Tommy with a look of utmost betrayal.

They are both sitting in the sand, the shore and sunset illuminating them from behind. Tommy doesn’t have his hearing aids on, not wanting to risk them being damaged from the ocean.

Tubbo is screaming as well as signing, something that he can hear and see without his hearing aids on.

People are staring at them as they continue to play Uno, both Tommy and Tubbo unflinching at the eyes of total strangers.

Tommy doesn’t hesitate to speak out loud to Tubbo, his voice slightly wavering and some words slurred as he speaks what he can only partially hear.

"This is what you get for calling my knees boneless meat!" Tommy screams as he laughs loudly, scaring the people around him as they continue to bicker.

"BUT IT'S TRUE-"

"Oh my gawd, Tubbo, stop!" Tears of laughter fall down his face, Tommy unable to keep his Uno cards up.

“My knees are the hottest thing on Earth-”

“This is slander-”

“-every woman just throw themselves to my knees-”

“-absolute blasphemy-”

“-and you can’t deny that my - Oh, wait, Toby,” Tommy stops rambling, turning to look around the beach.

“Yeah?” He replies with a smirk, holding a 4+ in his deck.

“Where did I put my bag?” Tommy asks with wide eyes, turning to look around the now crowded beach.

“....Um,” Tubbo starts, his voice more quiet and almost illegible to Tommy’s ears, “Weren’t your hearing aids inside of that bag...?”

It’s no surprise that the two teenagers would have been preoccupied with playing and talking to one another that they would forget about the things around them, the _bags_ around them.

Of course, Tommy didn’t pack anything heavy in there, with the exception of his hearing aids, notebook (which would have been used had he been separated from Tubbo), a towel, and beach necessities. 

He frantically tells this to Tubbo, who had already began to freak out for the both of them.

After walking around and asking if anybody had seen Tommy’s bag, they give up, too spent from swimming to worry about a couple things missing.

They walk towards Tubbo’s house together, side by side, and Tommy feels nothing but elation at the feeling of Tubbo near his vision.

“This probably wasn’t a good first impression, huh?” Tubbo jokes, leaning on Tommy with a sad smile.

“Nah, you should have seen it when I first went to Freddy’s house, the mad lad almost tried to kill me when I refused to share my amazing personality with him.” Tommy smirks, bumping his shoulder to Tubbo.

“That is such a false statement.” Tubbo snorts, Tommy laughing at his look of dry amusement.

"No, you're just jealous." Tommy sticks his tongue out, signing a couple cuss words for good measure.

“What are you going to do about tomorrow?” Tubbo implores, stopping to look at Tommy with concern.

“What do you mean?” Tommy asks honestly, looking away to stare at a bird perched on the wall next to them.

Tubbo shakes his head, and crosses his arms over his chest, looking at Tommy with a slight distressed look.

“ _Tommy,_ ” Tubbo starts, “You need to tell them about your condition, what if something happens because you can’t hear something?” 

“I’ll be fine.” Tommy says too quickly, trying desperately to not have this conversation with the one person who can see through his facade.

"Tommy-"

“I’ll have my phone for emergencies, and I can lip read them if I can’t hear them.” He begins walking again, Tubbo following him before leading him towards his house once again.

“Plus, I think that Wilbur or Phil will be decent responsible human beings to make sure that nothing happens to me!” Tommy points out, Tubbo shaking his head in silent worry.

“Tom, I’m only saying this once, but that is such a shit plan.” Tubbo drly says, but melts under Tommy’s very loud, and very intoxicating laughter.

“Wow, I _was_ wrong, you are the worst person I’ve ever visited! Freddy would never verbally insult my amazing knees nor my ideas, you absolute moron.” He quips while nudging Tubbo, who very dramatically sighs before smiling wide.

“Yes, of course. I am such a fool to underestimate you,” Tubbo says with a deadpan expression, his voice borderline low pitched.

"At least you have shown remorse, that will do for the eyes of my god like stature." Tommy teases, laughing and dodging away from Tubbo's swat of hands.

They make it together to Tubbo’s bedroom, where they open up his stream and play Minecraft.

It’s as hectic and as chaotic that Tommy expects it to be.

Tommy starts to feel like he’s finally complete.

* * *

It's finally Saturday, and they are sitting inside a small and quiet coffee shop, his father next to him and deciding not to order anything until the others arrive.

He cannot stop fidgeting and squirming, the lack of noise around him making him feel antsy with the massive amount of anxiety ridden thoughts circulating through his mind.

Tommy never feels comfortable in public with or without his hearing aids on, the feeling of being stared at or even being spoken to enough to unnerve him and stay at home.

But he stays strong, unwilling to let his nerves make him miss a possibly amazing opportunity.

It’s after waiting for another half hour that he finally sees a car pull up, the familiar look of a beanie and soft fluffy hair making Tommy stop moving all at once.

Three tall men are walking inside, and Tommy feels his father tap his shoulder to let him know that he sees them as well.

When Tommy had come back to the hotel with his father, he told him about his hearing aids and what had happened on the beach, his father already making plans on ordering new ones.

Tommy feels grateful that he doesn’t question what he’d do tomorrow, his father probably assuming that all of his circle of friends knew that he is hard of hearing.

Though it’s something so very far from the truth, he doesn’t move to correct it either, letting him be blissfully ignorant.

And so Tommy gives a thumbs up to his father, looking back to his friends opening the door and hesitantly walking inside.

Wilbur stands at the front of the coffee shop, Phil and another man that Tommy only assumes is TechnoBlade behind him.

Tommy must have made a noise, because almost immediately does Wilbur turn to him with excitement.

“-ommy?” He very faintly hears Wilbur say out loud, his voice almost a shallow whisper to Tommy’s already vacant ears.

“Yes, it is I, the dirty crime child!” He hears himself say, the words not as clear and as quiet as he wants them to be.

His father seems to think the same, before sheepishly apologizing to the other people in the room for his behavior.

They sit with them, and Tommy can already feel some of his anxiety slip away and be replaced with pure unbridled excitement.

Wilbur is eager to sit across from Tommy, Phil sitting across from his father and moving to shake his hand. 

Techno is seated in between Phil and Wilbur, looking just as cool that Tommy imagined him to be in real life.

From there, conversations start to filter in, the white noise not as loud as Tommy had hoped it to be.

Tommy is immediately put into deep focus when Wilbur starts to speak, his voice barely registering into his ears.

“-and, when I …. hey said, -” Tommy distantly hears from Wilbur, his voice like an echo that Tommy can barely distinguish.

He hides the uncertainty with a devious grin, discreetly lip reading in the hopes of understanding what he’s saying.

It seems to work well, because he manages to speak back with no weird looks heading his way.

He counts himself lucky, and continues the morning with laughter and grins.

After an hour of eating and talking to each other, Tommy’s father bids them farewell and heads towards his car. He gives Phil his number, with the promise of keeping Tommy out of trouble and away from anything illegal. Tommy gives him a hug, and they say goodbye together in sign language.

He tries to ignore the curious stares from Techno and Wilbur, who are undoubtedly looking at his hand movements with confusion.

Tommy watches his father drive away, and smiles wide before turning around.

“So, what's the plan?”

* * *

Tommy probably should have known that leaving his phone with Wilbur was a horrible idea.

It would have been something that Tubbo would have absolutely slandered him for, his overprotective need to make sure that Tommy was well aware of the dangers in being by himself.

Not that he never trusted Tommy to keep himself safe, but they were both young teens, famous in their own right and vulnerable to those that wanted nothing but pain for them.

Tommy _knows_ this.

But he wasn’t thinking, his need to use the restroom outweighing any other thought in his mind.

He didn’t think that it was a big deal, moving away from the arcade and farther away from Wilbur concentrating on the game.

It was a simple run to the bathroom, something he thinks that any other normal teenager can do. He ignores the lingering doubt from his mind, intent on making a point to himself.

So when he goes outside, where the bathrooms were located in a hallway inside another area of the mall, he doesn’t think to tell anyone.

Tommy moves quickly, trying to remember specific things from the area so that he can make his way back as fast as possible. 

He still doesn’t think too much of it, waiting in the line for a couple minutes before going inside the men’s room.

It’s quick and brief, everything he expects it to be.

Though, that thought soon changes in under seconds.

It’s only after walking into the center of the crowded mall, already scrambling to remember the lay out, that he _finally_ realises that he doesn’t know where he is.

_That he doesn’t have his phone on him._

The gravity of the situation begins to dawn on him heavily, his breath knocked out as he realises that he can’t even _hear_ the people next to him.

A sense of unease starts to flood his stomach, no phone and no familiar face to calm him down.

He begins walking, the memory of a teacher telling him to stay in one place so that people could eventually find him popping out of nowhere.

He decides to ignore that idea, looking up and deciding that finding a map or getting to higher ground is a better idea.

Tommy feels the bodies of other people pushing past him, his anxiety beginning to grow bigger and bigger for every bump and shove given to him.

Walking up to an elevator, he goes up until he sees a large poster of a map. That’s when he tries to imprint the map into his mind, focusing on the buildings and stores near the arcade that he left from.

People are still walking behind him, never once concerned about the hunched and tall teen near them.

Tommy thinks that’s okay, since he can’t hear them anyway.

And so Tommy walks away from the poster, going back into the sea of people that practically sucked him in. He tries not to flinch away from their brief touches from his arms, desperately trying to remember the buildings going past him.

He doesn’t recognize someone walking past him, too focused on trying to making a turn from the corner.

Tommy doesn’t hear Phil yelling out his name, doesn’t see him frantically searching amongst the crowd.

He doesn't hear an intercom from the speakers, his name being told in repeat multiple times before it clicks off.

Instead, he goes back into the crowd, oblivious to the sounds of concern getting farther and farther away.

* * *

Wilbur Soot is not having a good evening.

He meets up with Phil early in the morning, Techno having already been picked up by Wilbur the night before and staying in his house.

They plan to go to a cafe, where they would pick up Tommy and eat breakfast with his father.

The day starts off as amazing as he imagined to be, with three of his most favorite people by his side.

Though, he suspects that being with Tommy, he should have expected something like this to happen.

Regardless of how much they teased the young boy, no matter how many times the teen denied it, he was, and still is, just a kid.

So, _yes_. 

Wilbur probably should have expected something like this to happen, he should have made better precautions for the one person he felt like a younger brother.

Because that’s what Tommy was.

His little brother.

And like any other younger brother, he decides to get _lost_.

Now Wilbur, though he may not seem like it, isn’t a very easily spooked person.

He knows how to become calm and rational under the pressure of thousands of people constantly staring at him.

Wilbur knows how to breathe and alleviate his anxiety into a small hum, in replacing his fear with good jokes and witty comebacks.

But this was Tommy.

This was someone he knew would probably have a higher chance of being kidnapped and stolen than _Tubbo_.

Because Tubbo would know not to follow strangers or do what people say in order to stay away from confrontation.

He has heard from Tubbo multiple times that Tommy had a problem with saying no to people, a naive person at heart that was easily manipulated from those with bad intentions.

Tubbo never went into specifics, but Wilbur could hear how much pain he felt when talking about it, something bad probably having to happen to Tommy once.

The thought that he couldn't prevent something already pain inducing to Tommy makes him nauseous, almost dizzy with unfamiliar concern.

So Wilbur decides to protect Tommy as much as he can, whether it’s making a code for him on Discord or chaporening his call on stream.

He doesn’t mind sitting in Tommy’s stream, editing his videos while listening in on his conversation with big youtubers.

The same could be applied with the rest of the gang, with Phil, Tubbo, and sometimes even Techno joining in with him, something they don't talk about outside of call.

So, when he turns to give Tommy a high five, a lazy smile on his face, it comes to a shock that he isn’t immediately given a slap.

They were inside a fairly large booth for a single person shooting game, Tommy insisting that Wilbur redeem his skills as a dirty crime child. Of course, this was to be deduced by gunning down orphans in the short campaign.

He doesn’t think twice about it, Phil and Techno leaving them to go in line and order their lunch.

Wilbur goes into the booth with Tommy. 

He leaves without him.

It’s after waiting for a few minutes, that he remembers that Tommy was a teenager, and that like all teenagers, he had a phone.

So he reaches into his pockets, and finds that there are two slender mechanical devices in his pocket.

That’s when all hell breaks loose.

“Oh fuck, oh shit,” Wilbur mumbles unintelligently, speedily opening his phone and calling Phil, “Fuck, god damnit, shit.”

“ _Hello? Wil_?” Phil’s voice asks from the receiver, the sound of kids screaming in the background making his head hurt.

“ _Phil_ , oh my god, I lost the child.” Wilbur fidgets, his voice high pitched and strangled.

“ _Wait, what-_ ”

“I turned my eye off him for one second, and then he disappeared!” He interrupts, frantically looking around as small kids push past him.

“Tommy was right next to me, I swear, and I don’t even know where he is because he gave me his phone earlier!!!”

“ _Oh god, okay_ ,” Phil’s voice rang clearly in his ears.

“ _Don’t panic Wil, we’re on our way to you, sust stay on the line until we get there_.” Phil soothes until Wil feels like his legs won’t give out.

“Okay, okay,”

“ _Everything is going to be okay, this is Tommy we are talking about, the kid knows not to do anything dangerous_ ,” Phil is reassuring Wilbur, Techno is talking in the background and asking what's wrong.

“You don’t know Tommy, the gremlin of a child is too susceptible to peer pressure!” Wilbur screeches, faintly remembering the talks with Tubbo, adrenaline starting to pump his veins.

“What if he gets kidnapped?! Or pulled into an alleyway!? Tommy would get scammed by those people with their dogs, _he loves dogs_ , and you know it!” Wilbur shrieks while gripping at his hair with internal terror.

“ _Wil!! Calm down mate, are you even hearing yourself!? We’re in a public arcade, not some large hidden in the woods type park. Between the three of us, we’ll find_ _him right away,_ ” Phil calmly states, the familiar sounds of games playing in the background making Wilbur feel nauseous. 

“ _I think we’re close to you now, can you see us_?” Phil asks and Wilbur unconsciously nods, replying quickly into the phone and then hanging up, walking over to the shorter men.

By the time they are face to face, the look of worry is still evident in his face.

“Okay, we didn’t see him near the food court nor on the way here, so let’s split up and check the entrance and the other side of the arcade.” Phil plans out, Techno discreetly pulling up a map of the arcade from his phone.

“Let’s not panic until we search the place, Tommy is probably nearby doing something and forgot to tell you, Wilbur,” He assures him, Techno clenching his fists and looking around with slight worry.

“We’ll call you if we find him,” Techno speaks for him, quickly grabbing Wilbur’s arm and looking around the arcade.

They walk past kids that look like Tommy, blond hair and blue eyes. Some almost send Wilbur into cardiac arrest, with how many times he has to look back and make sure he didn’t rush past him.

Techno is right next to him, searching the left while Wilbur searched the right.

He hopes Phil is having better luck, that maybe Tommy really did go get something to drink.

He gets his answer pretty quickly.

“We checked this place five times Phil, kid probably went outside for some fresh air?” Techno says after they meet up at the entrance, sweat and anxiety pooling over their minds.

“I don’t know, why would he leave without saying anything?” Phil thinks out loud, rubbing his face with stressed felt exhaustion.

“Oh _god_ , what if someone told him to follow them and he’s kidnapped right now.” Wilbur starts to panic, gripping his hair in immediate hysteria.

“ _Wil!_ Stop _saying_ that!” Phil smacks his arm, Techno giving Wilbur a dirty look.

“Dude, he’s not _that_ naive,” Techno crosses his arms, shaking his head at Wilbur with furrowed brows.

“ _Well then_ , where is he!?!” Wilbur cried out, rubbing the arm Phil had smacked.

They looked outside and back inside the arcade simultaneously.

“Okay, he _might_ have left.” Phil starts to walk outside, sighing once he saw the amount of people still left at the mall.

“How the fuck are we supposed to find _Tommy_ in this mess?” Techno voices out their concerns, turning to Phil with wide eyes.

“Phil, the speakers!” Wilbur screeches while pointing at the coms, the security camera looking above everyone.

“We could get them to ask for Tommy, since he’ll be able to hear us!” Wilbur shakes Phil with contained relief, ready to run towards the security offices.

“Okay, new plan. Wilbur, you go talk to security and ask them to use the speakers for Tommy. I’m going to go and walk around, see if I find Tommy on my own. Techno, you should stay near the arcade in case he comes back.” Phil executes, thinking back on any details he might have missed.

“Does that sound like a plan?”

“Yes,” Wilbur rushes, already turning to run towards the security booth.

He doesn’t see the teen walking walking across from him, doesn’t do anything but run towards the booth, too focused on getting to the speakers to notice the blond haired tall kid running past him, past his reach.

Instead, he walks over to the front desk, where nobody else is inside, and stands in front an officer.

“Hello officer, I’d like to report a missing child.”

* * *

Tommyinnit is 16 years old and sitting at a bench, feeling both exhausted and scared.

He doesn't know what to do besides to sit and wait, hoping that his friends cared enough to not leave him in an unknown location without giving a ride back home.

Though, worse things could have happened, and Tommy is just grateful that he isn't being kidnapped like how Tubbo says he would.

Honestly, the trust he had in him was too low for comfort.

He should probably stop talking out loud as well, if the looks people have been giving him were anything to go by.

Though it had only been half an hour walking around, Tommy had given up trying to locate the arcade. The mall was a maze that he had no recollection of getting through, the turns and twists of the area making the teen want to scream in agony.

He didn’t have anyone’s phone memorised, so there was no point in asking someone for their phone, and he thought it was probably best that he didn’t call his father until he was sure they had left him behind.

So, with great dignity, Tommy willingly sacrificed himself to public scrutiny, the one thing he despised more than women haters.

Swaying his legs up and down, he tries to think about ideas for his YouTube channel, trying to ignore the cold and desolate feeling in his chest.

He tries not to think of the possibility of being abandoned, maybe even purposefully left behind.

He elects to think on the positive, needing something to ground his mind from self destruction.

It’s after sitting for what feels like hours, does he see a familiar head.

Tommy abruptly stands up, and takes a running start to follow the blond haired man.

He gets pushed back by people walking the opposite direction as him, but he doesn’t think before cupping his hands around his mouth.

“ _PHIL!!!_ _PHIL_ , _I’M_ _HERE_!” Tommy screeches, making the people around him violently flinch and move away from him.

Phil seems to hear him, if his swift turn is anything to go by.

Tommy moves to smile, but stops when he looks at his face.

Phil looks absolutely _stricken_.

Tommy only has to take a few steps before he is pulled into the tightest hug he has ever been given in his whole life.

“ _Oh god, oh my fucking god,”_ Phil sobs, clutching onto Tommy as if he were going to disappear, “ Tommy _, oh my god.”_ He continues to cry, making Tommy feel panicked.

“ _Phil_!?! Are you okay? What’s wrong?!” Tommy stresses, hugging back the older man and feeling his heart rate go back up in fear.

Hearing his voice seems to make him cry harder, something that makes Tommy feel both guilty and grounded, the feeling of abandonment soaring away from his body.

They stand there for a couple more minutes, Phil reluctantly letting him go, his eyes never leaving Tommy’s.

"Sorry for freaking you out mate, I was just really relieved that you're okay." He whispers, his voice never going through Tommy's ears.

“I’m going to text Wilbur and Techno to let them know that you’re safe, and then we’re heading back to Wilbur’s house to calm down.” Phil tells him, pulling an arm over the teen for comfort before leading him towards the exit.

Tommy nods easily, anxiety making it hard to reply back verbally.

The feeling of nervousness starts to peak on the idea of seeing Wilbur and Techno.

He isn't quite sure how they're going to react, if Phil was any example.

The walk towards the entrance is long and quiet, save for the small sniffles that Phil emits after crying hard earlier. Tommy ignores the feeling of regret, instead giving both him and Phil a peace of mind by leaning onto him, showing him that he was truly there.

He tries not to hide into his side once they are walking towards the entrance, the hallway too short and too fast to walk through.

Tommy is almost tempted to turn back when he sees 2 familiar looking people pacing near the car.

Before he can say a word, he’s once again engulfed with a warm body squeezing the air out of him.

The scent of caffeine and lavender, the smell of _Wilbur,_ strongly makes it's way to his nose as he's grabbed and squished.

“Oh you _gremlin_ _little fuck_ ,” Wilbur begins to rant, crying onto Tommy’s shoulder as he begins to grip onto him even more tightly.

“Why the _fuck_ would you leave without your phone?! Do you know how terrified we were?! I almost had a heart attack Tommy, you could have been kidnapped or hurt or taken and-”

“I’m sorry Wil,” Tommy finally speaks into his shirt, barely hearing the distraught tone of Wilbur’s voice.

“I got lost and then I couldn’t find you again,” His voice slurs, not concentrated on keeping his voice stable.

“I promise I tried to look for you,” He hiccups, warm tears beginning to stain Wilbur’s yellow shirt, “M’ sorry that I ruined our day.”

He doesn’t hear Wilbur giving him quiet reassurances, his voice too low to be picked up in his ears.

It’s after Wilbur lets go that they go inside the car, Phil in the driver's seat and both Techno and Wilbur in the back with him.

He's smushed in the middle of a protective barrier, feeling safe and wanted after all that time alone on the bench and crowd.

Tommy takes a relieved sigh, putting all his body weight onto Techno, who huffs but lets him lean, his mind still too fresh of the fear of losing Tommy at the mall.

Closing his eyes, he awaits the drive back to Wilbur's.

* * *

It's Friday, 5:04 p.m.

Tommy is sitting at the kitchen table, Wilbur and Techno sitting across from him.

It would have been funny, how somber they look and the position of their seating. It almost reminds him of the Meme with the girls and the cat, Tommy being the cat.

Phil is making coffee for them, with the exception of Tommy, who is instead given hot chocolate.

They are quiet, and Tommy isn't quite sure how this is going to go down.

_A large part of Tommy hopes that they can just move on from this, that they can forget it ever happened-_

“We wanted to talk, actually, Tommy.” Phil starts out before taking the seat between Wilbur and Techno, putting a cup of hot chocolate right in front of Tommy.

_'Oh shit.'_

"You're not in trouble Tommy." Phil reads his mind, "We just want to know what happened, and how we can make sure that it doesn't happen again," He says lightly, making Tommy's heart throb at how much patience he's giving.

"I just needed to use the restroom," Tommy mumbles truthfully, trying to stop fiddling with his hands.

They share a look with each other before Phil turns to Tommy again, apprehensive.

“Mate... After I left to go search for you outside of the arcade, Wilbur was able to get security to use their speakers to make a notice for you.” He says slowly, waiting to see if Tommy understood. "They made an announcement several times, enough that you would have heard it from where I found you near the other side of the mall."

“What...?” He feels himself ask, still unaware of what Phil was trying to ask of him.

“Tommy, why didn’t you go to the security area after we made the announcement?” Techno says with a blunt and hard tone, staring into Tommy’s soul to gage his reaction.

Shock courses through his body, and no noise comes out his mouth for several seconds. 

“I- I didn’t hear it.” Tommy blurts his words out, his hands unclenching and clenching underneath the table.

“What do you _mean_ you didn’t hear it?” Wilbur asks with visible confusion.

Tommy feels a ringing in his ears, his eyes becoming water as anxiety tugged in his gut.

He tries not to look at them anymore, too unnerved to even think about looking at them for a second longer.

“What I mean is that I couldn’t _hear_ the speakers.” Tommy says quietly, his voice no longer audible for his standards.

“I can’t hear anything, not even you.” He rubs his eyes, trying to clear the water so he could see without problem.

“I’m deaf.”

Silence.

It speaks more volumes than any word given in that moment.

When Tommy finally looks up, he can see that they haven't spoken yet, the confusion and shock still very apparent on their faces, especially with Wilbur. Techno seems to be dumbfounded, looking at Tommy with genuine curiosity. A hand begins to slide down Phil's face, his eyes closed before looking back at Tommy with exhaustion.

“Mate…” Phil starts, unsure how to proceed, “I don’t think we understand.”

Deciding to rip the bandaid, Tommy does what he does best.

He speaks.

“I can’t hear what you’re saying, because I’m partially deaf,” Tommy takes a breath. “I have been since I was four, and have been using hearing aids to listen for years.”

“The reason why I can ‘ _hear_ ’ you is because I know how to lip read, have known since I was a kid and was able to use it instead of my hearing aids. I have hearing dogs and special equipment at my house so that I can stream and play video games like a normal kid.” Words are flooding out his mouth, the truth spilling like ink on a white sheet of paper. “A bunch of kids blew an air horn into my ear,” He shakily admits, tears still going down his face. He can’t see what they say, so he continues rambling.

“We were kids, ya know? They thought it would have been a funny joke, to make a loud noise? Because who doesn’t like a small prank- But they had all aimed at my ears, and,” Tommy gasped, trying to hold back his sobs. “And they decided that it was okay, to just _rupture_ my ears drums and to make me scarred for life. They _made_ me deaf, and-" 

“ **_Tommy_ **!” He finally hears, looking up to see Phil and Wilbur crying.

Phil’s eyes were filled with pain, his face full of immeasurable sadness.

Techno was the opposite, fury and rage rolling off of him in waves. 

“Oh _Toms_ ,” He blurrily sees Wilbur say, moving around the table to give him a tight hug, " Why didn’t you say anything sooner?” 

_‘Why didn’t you tell us?’_

“I didn’t know what you guys would do, I was scared,” He hiccups, feeling lightheaded, “ _I don’t want to lose you guys_ , I don't ever want to lose you guys because I'm a freak and abnormal to society. I don't want to stop hanging out with you or stop talking to you, you're all like my second family and I don't think I can handle that, that my _heart_ can handle that.” His voice breaks into Wilbur’s chest, the feeling of hands rubbing his back making him feel less broken.

Because what Tommy was.

_Broken_.

He knows that his disability will never make him any less than a hearing person, never make himself any less than person,

-but he's still a kid.

He has the same wants and needs as a normal person, but because of his hearing, because of his _status_ , he's always been limited and discriminated for every small or big thing he decides to do.

He has never had the privilege of being kept away from the silence, something that he began to despise and loathe the longer he went without noise.

Tommy wants to listen to the mall noise of the weather, the sound of people walking past him, the sound of a match being lit, all the smallest sounds that people took for granted. Tommy wanted to listen, because he wanted to feel normal.

“I hope you don't hate me…” He finally whispers, his one true fear beginning to make light into the conversation.

“ _Oh Tommy_ ,” Phil says with such a soft and caring voice, it makes Tommy’s shoulders shake harder from crying.

“That’s not true at all, that’ll _never_ be true,” Wilbur says vehemently, giving him a tight squeeze before pulling away from the hug. He lets his hands continue to hold Tommy’s shoulders, grounding him from his mind.

“You never have to feel scared of being yourself Tommy, _never_ . Not with us, **never** with us.”

He looks up, and he can see the sincerity in his face, can see how much he means what he says.

“Tommy,” Techno starts, his face serious. “What I’m about to say is _very_ important, so _please_ understand this.”

“I need you to know that we would have _never_ treated you any different for that. Never in a million years would we have, _or ever will,_ abandon you.” He ruffles his hair, feeling his lips wobble slightly. “We don’t ever want you to feel like you can’t tell us if something is wrong, _especially_ if you need _help_.”

“We just want you to be safe and happy, that’s all we ever _need_ from you.” Phil finishes, a sad smile on his face.

“I, I don’t know what to say…” Tommy sniffs, his heart too full of emotions.

“How about we start with dinner?” Phil smiles softly, leading Tommy towards the living room.

“We can watch a movie and relax the rest of the day, if that’s what you want to do?” Phil suggests more quieter, Tommy’s eyes starting to droop with fatigue.

“Okay,” He feels himself say, unaware if he says it right or not.

Phil walks back into the kitchen, Techno following to him to make sure that the orders were good. Wilbur is in the corner grabbing a remote, preparing the TV for them to use. Seeing nothing better to do, Tommy heads towards the long couch.

Before he can lay down, Wilbur plops behind him, pulling a soft blanket out of nowhere. Tommy doesn't think twice before throwing himself onto Wilbur, using his body as a human pillow. He feels Wilbur's chest move, probably laughing.

They lay there together, Tommy content with the feeling of warmth and safety. A surge of gratitude begins overtaking Tommy's body, his heart full of affection and love for the people around him.

Looking up, Tommy mischievously grins before flicking Wilbur's face, laughing loudly at his expression.

"Tommy?" Wilbur asks quietly, raising his eyebrows.

"Sorry, couldn't hear you!" Tommy giggles, closing his eyes so that he couldn't see what Wilbur says back.

The ugly feeling of not hearing anything never comes to his mind. He doesn't feel sick to his stomach, nor dizzy with dark thoughts on his mind. He only feels warmth from Wilbur's body and the emotion of deep comfort from his hands to his feet. He feels happy, happy to no longer feel scared of not hearing anything.

_And that's when Tommy finally realises he was free._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys, piteouspeculiarity-senpai is the coolest person in the world, and no, I am not a simp, I am just stating a general and well known fact.
> 
> Please, if you haven't heard of them, GO CHECK THEM OUT!!! SEND THE AMAZING PERSON SOME LOVE!!! THEY DESERVE ALL THE SUPPORT!!!
> 
> I hope everyone stays safe and enjoyed the chapter, the next one won't be as traumatizing
> 
> ...I think? We'll see :)
> 
> SEE YOU LATER, BE SAFE GUYS!!!!

**Author's Note:**

> I already have an idea on how I want the next chapters to go, but if I read something that interests me, I might just add that instead :D
> 
> Thanks for reading, I hope it wasn't as bad as I thought it was.
> 
> The next update might be in a few days as I still have to finish demonic College Apps and stuff. I hope everyone has a great day today and you are all safe and well! :)


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